Okay so the final tests are done, and now the waiting game begins I suppose. Supposedly i’ll find out on the 14th what went on two weeks ago today, though I would expect that if its anything drastically serious I’ll find out sooner. Still it does make one a bit nervous, sitting and waiting for what might be.
Imagination is a wonderful thing most of the time. This go round is sure as fuck isn’t.
I don’t know about others in this position but I suppose maybe its the realism of facing one’s mortality that makes one a bit more pessimestic than is good for a person. I used to believe that the glass was half full, but these days death sure does occupy the mind a bit more than life does. So am I a pessimest or just a realist?
Death is a part of life and yet we spend so much energy ignoring it, trying to defeat it but I wonder are we perhaps approaching this thing from the wrong angle? I mean if you truly do belive in God and heaven, aren’t we sort of saying that we don’t want to go see him when we oppose death?
Like what religion is there that doesn’t paint one fantastic portrait of heaven? Muslim? Judism? Christianity?
So if we truly belive as say George Bush claims does, or Stephen Harper, then why do we embrace a society that does everything it can to deny us a path to HIM? I mean look around at all the commercials, whether in print, television, or movies. Don’t they all tell us to look backwards, to seek the fountain of youth only their product can deliver? I mean pills to aid in prolonging our life, eat right to stay alive, lower this, raise this, bad this, good this…. it all seems like its all geared to defeat or at least hold at bay death. Yet isn’t death part of HIS plan? I mean HE is the creator or so we believe, and yet we are determined to battle HIM & death and try to cheat it.
The bible talks about heaven and how when our time on earth is over we are going to meet God and go live with him in heaven. Whether you buy into that or not, that is pretty well the standard in all religions. Muslims think it is a honor to die in HIS name even though the Koran doesn’t really say that. Yet they believe and so we have poor nameless one’s tying bombs to their guts and walking out into streets and detonating those bombs, all to meet God.
We have Presidents and Prime MInisters taling about honoring God’s plan while dening equal rights to a portion of society in order to prove their beliefs. So one has to really wonder, how much is talk and how much is true?
I love God and I have a different opinion of HIM than some I guess, but I am just as guilty in not wanting to rush out and go meet him. I kind of want to live, yet in all the bibles or religious teaching they tell us that we will lose nothing but gain everything in his house. Yet we do everything we can to avoid it. We rarely discuss it.
I know Dave doesn’t want to, yet if it is true, what the religious one’s say, why shouldn’t we discuss it? Why don’t we make plans to meet up there and be once more together? Seems logical to me yet we avoid it like we do the plague. Odd isn’t it? We promise HIM our eternal love and gratitude yet rush to avoid meeting him? I just don’t really get it I guess but right now I do want to believe more than anything.
I want to know that these last years aren’t it. I want there to be more in some way so I suppose that makes me a pessimest yet in all honesty I don’t think so. I love Dave and want to be with him for eternity, but is there even such a thing? I know the religious people will shout YES but are they right?
And there perhaps is the answer to all this. We simply don’t know so we try to avoid it all costs. It isn’t denying GOD but maybe refusing to have that ultimate faith he requires.
So do we believe in God or Not?
